Mindfulness Practice – My Vipassana Journey from Fear to Balance

The Beginnings of My Meditation Journey

My path in meditation began many years ago. As a young boy, I spent a lot of time alone in silence, often sitting on my bed, staring ahead, or closing my eyes. I didn't know it then, but this was my first experience with mindfulness. Sitting alone brought me a sense of calm and peace.

Discovering Mantras, Sikhism, and Buddhism

Shortly before my sister passed away, I started listening to mantras on YouTube. This led me to explore Hinduism and eventually Buddhism. Around 2007, I became curious about Buddhist meditation and began reading books to learn more.

One day, while meditating at my sister’s grave, I had a surprising experience—I heard voices as if people were right next to me, even though they were far away. This moment made me realize there was much more to meditation than I initially thought.

Exploring Different Meditation Practices

Over the years, I explored different paths:

• Zen Meditation – I joined a group, but the energy didn’t align with mine.

• Kundalini Yoga – This was a life-changing experience that heightened my awareness.

• Vipassana – The most profound practice that changed my life.

My Vipassana Experience in Thailand

In 2016, while in Thailand for yoga teacher training, I planned to attend a Vipassana retreat. A friend advised me to choose Vipassana over Ayahuasca, saying, “With Ayahuasca, you open and close the door. With Vipassana, you learn how to open and close the door yourself.” Those words resonated deeply, and I chose Vipassana. It was the best decision I ever made. Since then, I have attended many retreats, and Vipassana has become a fundamental part of my life.

Managing Fear and Worry Through Mindfulness

Many people suffer from worry and anxiety, which can lead to physical discomfort. I firmly believe that fear is the root cause of human suffering. Fear leads to worry, and worry keeps us trapped in the mind. However, when we learn to manage fear, we take back control of our thoughts and emotions.

If you'd like more detailed instructions on how to practice mindfulness, please visit Mindfulness Guide where you can download the pdf in your preferred language. It offers step-by-step guidelines for mindfulness meditation, daily practice, and integrating mindfulness into everyday life.

What Happens at a Vipassana Retreat?

A Vipassana retreat is a silent meditation experience where you are completely with yourself. The schedule includes:

• Early morning wake-ups

• Alternating between sitting and walking meditation

• Dhamma talks (Buddhist teachings)
  

No reading, writing, or talking is allowed. The practice helps you go deep within, observing your breath and bodily sensations to develop true mindfulness.

My Personal Preference: Theravada Buddhism

Over the years, I’ve attended retreats in Myanmar, Thailand, and Malaysia, totaling about 3–4 months of practice. I resonate most with Theravada Buddhism, which integrates both sitting and walking meditation. Walking meditation has been essential for me, as it helps calm my mind when sitting becomes difficult.

After a vipassana meditation retreat

How to Disconnect Amidst Noise

A simple yet powerful mindfulness practice is focusing on your breath when surrounded by distractions. Instead of labeling sounds, acknowledge them as part of the experience. In your mind, note: “Hearing is arising, hearing is arising, hearing is arising” Then, return your attention to your breath. Over time, this helps you remain centered even in noisy environments.

Final Thoughts: The Power of Mindfulness

By practicing mindfulness, I’ve learned to control my “monkey mind” instead of letting it control me. Once you master this, you’ll notice less pressure in your mind and body.

Are you your mind? The answer is no. The mind is impermanent, but you are permanent.

Enjoy the practice, and may it guide you toward inner peace and balance.

Vipassana Retreat Centers I Recommend:

If you’re interested in Vipassana meditation, these are the centers I’ve personally attended:

Thailand:

• Indriya Retreat, Koh Phangan (recommended for beginners)

• Wat Suan Mokh (recommended for beginners)

• Dipabhavan Meditation Center (recommended for beginners)

Myanmar:

• Panditarama Forest Meditation Center (personal experience, start in Thailand and with a little experience come here)

Malaysia:

• Buddhist Hermitage Lunas (this is self practice, would recommend when you know what you do, go here)

These places have profoundly shaped my journey, and I hope they help you find balance as well.

Additional Mindfulness Practice Insights

Common Challenges & How to Overcome Them

When you start practicing mindfulness it is normal to experience restlessness, anger, and/or fear. You might want to stop after just a few seconds or minutes, thinking “I cannot do this” or “my mind is too busy; I cannot stop thinking.” Yes, you can do it, and your mind will always find reasons for you to give up. The most important thing is not to give up and keep going.

My mind was also very uncalm in the beginning; it didn’t allow me to meditate. I thought I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t sit still. My mind kept jumping to the past, to the future, to craving. But you just keep going, noting it for what it is.

Start with 5 minutes of meditation. When you see it’s going well and you can do more, extend to 10 minutes. Every time you feel the need for more, just add more time.

Addressing Mental Health Caveats

If you experience anxiety, overthinking, or worry, start slowly—think about 5 minutes a day, then gradually extend.

If you have serious mental issues and use medications, I suggest reaching out to your doctor for advice. In some situations, I do not recommend mindfulness. For these cases, please ask your doctor.

Integration into Daily Life

Many people think that for mindfulness they have to be seated cross-legged, close their eyes, and have their hands in their lap. This is not true. Mindfulness is so much more than that. You can practice while you eat, walk, or sit.

• Walking: Instead of being busy with your phone, follow your steps. When you step with the left leg, say “left” in your mind; when you step with the right leg, say “right.” When you stop, say “stop.” If your mind goes to the future, the past, or to a craving, you just note it. (How to note? It’s in the PDF.)
  

• Eating: Personally, I don’t practice formal mindful eating at all times because it might take two hours instead of 30 minutes. But if you do, you follow every step: picking up the fork or spoon, lifting your arm, scooping the food, opening your mouth, chewing... and so on. I do eat mindfully in my own way, returning to the present when my mind wanders to the past or future.
  

• Hand-Washing: I like to wash my hands mindfully, following every step. When rubbing my hands with soap, I keep my mind in my hands and feel the skin. This can be a revelation and an enjoyment like never before.
  

• Driving when I drive my bike I like to follow my breath, rising and falling of the abdomen. To prevent myself from being distracted by the mind. And when the mind starts playing, I simply note what is happening.
  

Many people think mindfulness is only sitting, but it’s much broader—every moment can be an opportunity to be present.

Comparisons with Other Meditation Techniques

Vipassana focuses on observing the breath and bodily sensations without a mantra or complex visualization. In contrast, Kundalini Yoga incorporates postures and breathwork, while Zen might emphasize a specific posture (zazen) and certain koans or riddles to deepen insight. Each approach has unique benefits—try what resonates most.

Deeper Insights into “The Monkey Mind”

The mind is like a monkey until you learn to be in control of it. Until then, it jumps everywhere and anywhere. The goal is to be in control of the mind, rather than letting it control you.

Encouragement & Realistic Expectations

It’s completely okay to be more restless on some days and more peaceful on others. Believe me—you are not alone in this. It doesn’t matter how much I have meditated; sometimes days are just too hard, and still, we have to conquer them.

This text is about mindfulness as I have learned it in Vipassana. The key to this blog post is mindfulness, not Vipassana itself.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions about this topic, feel free to reach out—I’m here for you.

With Metta,

David Stojanović