My very first blog shared with the outer world was about How to Open the Toot Chakra Fast with Guided Grounding Meditation. In that blog, I briefly wrote about why grounding is important, but I didn’t go into the real underlying reason.
Fear is a natural emotion. It helps keep us safe by making us aware of danger. But when it comes to public speaking, fear can hold us back. Learning how to overcome fear of public speaking is essential for confidence and success. I once heard someone ask, “Will this meditation help me completely overcome fear?” This question made me think: Why would anyone want to overcome fear completely? Fear is healthy to have. It doesn’t make you weak, in fact, it makes you focus even more strongly.
Look at how children handle fear. A child doesn’t understand the dangers of traffic, animals, heat, knives, broken glass, or electricity. Unlike adults, a child has less fear built inside, so they may cross a street without checking if it’s safe. While much of our fear is learned, some fears, like reacting to loud noises, are innate.
I remember getting my first racing bike at around age 7 or 8. While riding it, I managed to hit a single lamppost standing alone in a field, with nothing else around it. I was looking down at the wheel instead of ahead. I didn’t know I had to look forward —why would I have had bent handlebars instead of the usual kind? This accident taught me to look in front of me rather than down.
Sometimes we have to experience danger firsthand to bring fear into our lives, allowing us to be more aware of safety.
These days, there are even more influences that teach us to fear. Turn on the TV, read the newspaper, or simply listen to people around you and their stories of fear. What’s happening? What do you think about the wars, the hate being spread, or the illnesses and diseases? Fear is everywhere —in the (social) media, newspapers, radio, and even the voices of others who live in fear. These messages trigger fear within us, and that fear leads to many other issues.
The media constantly reminds us of conflicts like Russia-Ukraine or Palestine-Israel. I remember when I lived in the Netherlands, and some wars were in the news then, too. Just as we started forgetting about it, the news would remind us, bringing the fear back into our awareness. When we forgot again, it would be “there” once more.
Fear is placed in us from so many sources, and it will keep happening as long as we’re ungrounded.
The Childhood Roots of Fear: How Silence Creates Speaking Anxiety
From several people, including myself, I can say that when we ground ourselves —as I shared in my grounding meditation blog— the benefits show very fast. Of course, grounding needs to be practiced daily, making it easier to handle fear. Every time you have to speak in front of an audience, it will still be exciting, but grounding helps you stay present and calm.
Often fear of public speaking comes from our childhood where one of the parents or both, or grandparents have been telling us to be silent and preventing us to speak often. This fear becomes rooted in our existence, affecting our root chakra, located in the perineum – between the anus and genitals. When we don’t feel safe and secure, fear will arise and be present.
For healing this deep-rooted fear, it’s beneficial to write a letter to that person or to ourselves in order to release the energy and burn it. How this healing process works, you can read in detail in my grounding meditation blog.
Grounding Techniques for Deep Fear Healing: Real Transformation Stories
Because of my height, some people spotted me in the streets of Amsterdam and asked me to register with their company for small roles in TV shows, movies, and when an audience was needed. I had some small roles in Dutch and Hollywood movies recorded in the Netherlands. When they came with a Hollywood movie where I had to say just five words, I froze. I stood in front of five people —three at a desk and two behind big cameras. They said, ‘Go.’ And I was like, ‘What, go?’ ‘Well, say what you had to say.’ And I was like, ‘What did I have to say?’ They looked at me, and I could cry. I walked out. That day, I froze and couldn’t remember —this was 25 years ago. But today, I still remember what it was: ‘Hey you, what are you looking at?’ It’s incredible how fear can hold us back.
I was invited for a guided meditation at the Dragonfly Summit in Bangkok, where 2,000 people attended. Initially, only 24 people signed up, but on the first day, 50 people joined. On the second day, the audience grew to 85. From fear to balance, just by grounding. I didn’t feel fear or want to walk away. But I was very excited! Did I experience fear and did I want to walk away? Definitely not. But yes, I was super excited. Each time before speaking, I would ground myself and take my time. When people arrived, there was excitement, but I felt calm and present. As long as I just had to be there without speaking, everything was fine. But the moment I had to say just one word, I froze and walked away in fear. This held me back for years.
Each time before speaking, I would ground myself and take my time. When people arrived, there was excitement, but I felt calm and present.
Many clients tell me they feel nervous every time they speak in public, no matter how often they have done it before. A successful woman in the corporate world had to give a speech in front of hundreds of people outside her own country in a non-native English speech. She was super nervous and excited, even though she had done it for many years. She did the grounding before the speech and felt the calmness and peace return to her. She practices grounding on a daily basis. However, after practicing the grounding meditation, a deep sense of calmness and peace returns, making it much easier to face the audience.
Fear, Insecurity, and the Need for External Validation
Another big topic tied to fear and not being grounded is insecurity. Many years ago, I was dating someone who once asked me, “Why are you insecure?” I didn’t see myself that way, so I asked her what she meant. I wondered if perhaps she was projecting her own insecurity onto me, seeing something in me that was really in her. She insisted she wasn’t insecure. I asked her, “Then why did you get implants?” She went quiet and admitted she had felt insecure but believed she wasn’t anymore because they were now “fixed.”
And she wasn’t alone. So many people allow others’ fears and insecurities to shape them. Today, I see more women altering their lips, nose, breasts, hips, and so on, rather than asking themselves how they might heal from insecurity to find the strength within. Rather than reclaiming their own self-worth, they go to doctors who change their appearance.
To them, I say, ground yourself. Find your strength and see the beauty within, just as I see it in you when I look at you. You are beautiful as you are. There’s no need to be someone else. The true you is already within —you just have to look deeper.
How Fear Affects Your Body and Root Chakra Energy
The legs and perineum, along with the adrenal glands, connect directly to the Muladhara ckakra. This root chakra is tied to the physical body, affecting the legs, knees, and feet.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, knee issues often point to kidney issues. The kidneys reflect fear; when fear becomes excessive, it stresses the kidneys. Yet the kidney is so essential that it won’t show a problem until 80% of its function is gone, and then suddenly, dialysis or even a transplant may be needed.
The knee is made for us to walk forward. We can walk backward, but not really run backward. So, why look back and let fear from the past control you? Instead, learn from the past, understanding that past experiences are no guarantee of the present or future. I know it’s challenging to make this shift, but childhood trauma healing through grounding will help release lingering fear more easily. Adding an exercise to your life can also encourage a better flow of energy through the knee, easing any pain caused by stagnant energy. You could try massage, a light exercise like cycling, or gentle knee extensions to strengthen the quadriceps and relieve the knee of excess pressure from body weight.
Not all knee issues mean the kidney is damaged, but the kidney has issues. Drinking water, grounding, and staying mindful of rising fear can all help maintain balance.
Healing Fear Through Energy Work: A Personal Transformation Story
In 2017, I experienced a life-changing moment tied to fear. One night, I had severe pain in my lower back, so intense I thought I was dying. I was in bed, then on the floor, feeling the cold tiles against my back, but the pain kept worsening. I lost consciousness and came back, thinking this was the end. At the time, I was in a challenging relationship, and an argument led my ex to leave the house. Fear and sadness overwhelmed me; I didn’t know how to handle it, as I didn’t want our relationship to end.
The pain became unbearable, so I called her, crying and sharing what was happening. She called an ambulance. I ended up in the hospital, then a private clinic the next day, where they found several kidney stones in my right kidney, so large they couldn’t be passed naturally. They would need to remove them surgically. From that moment, she stayed by my side, supporting me. In the hospital room, I even told her, “This is related to fear. Fear of separation.” Once I understood the root of it, I began working on it internally.
Days passed, and the doctor from Bangkok arrived for the surgery. But after the procedure, he said there were no kidney stones left, only a little “sand.” He was shocked because, on the X-ray, the stones had been significant. I looked at my ex, and she motioned for me not to mention anything about my self-healing.
Practicing grounding every day helps prevent childhood trauma patterns from controlling your life, instead of reacting afterward. Childhood trauma healing is possible when you take responsibility for your own healing journey. Will you take responsibility for your own healing, or will you leave it in the hands of others?
Ready to begin your childhood trauma healing journey? Discover how Metta Healing sessions can help you release deep-rooted fear patterns and reconnect with your authentic self.
